“Happiness consists not of having, but of being. It is a warm glow of the heart at peace with itself.” —David O. McKay
Suffering in silence is something that I have known since I was a child. Alone with my thoughts of how I do or did not measure up to what was expected of me, I nurtured a sense of longing for validation that has not let up even into my adult years. I yearned for a sense of peace. I yearned for a sense of acceptance that comes not from the external but internal. I yearned for a sense of freedom, freedom to exist in this world and enjoy my place in it. However, I found that this yearning dissipated when I no longer was silent about my suffering, and started to share it with others. While some accused me of times where I was overwhelmingly focusing on the negative, I found that in sharing I was freed from a false sense of perfection that I could never live up to. I no longer had to hide. I found through sharing, I could just be and happiness in connecting would return. I am human as are we all. Traveling through this life as seekers, what freedom comes from that warm glow of the heart at peace with itself. A peace that comes only from being who we are, made on purpose for a purpose. It is in acceptance of my vulnerability and suffering, it is also in acceptance of my gifts and talents, sharing with others so to allow my emotions to be released in tears and in laughter. For this is what makes a life. The latin “motere” to move, preceded by the prefix “e” out of. When we do not let ourselves to process whatever it is that we are feeling and allow them to move through and out, then the suffering remains. When we speak up and voice what we are feeling, then our emotions can be released allowing the journey to be a more peaceful and joyful experience, knowing we are not alone. And when I share at my most vulnerable place, I admit to the world that I still suffer at times, however, now no longer in silence for I am acknowledging that I was not made to live this life on my own.
I am grateful to those who were and are there to listen when I reach out! It has been three years since I met face to face with a darkness that from loss that I believed would never release. It is only through asking for help, acknowledging that I could not go it alone and accepting the love and support offered to me that the darkness lifted so that I may accept that warm glow of peace offered on a daily basis for all who desire it. Thank you to my friends known and gifted to me through the sunrise of my soul’s bliss over the past three years-those who have come into my life through the beauty of healing process and the written word!