This is what I wrote in August of 2012- it is now December 2014 and I still continue down the same path, yet I see i have come so far. Maybe it will inspire you all to ask similar questions and focus a bit. While I am still challenge by my fears and pain, I realize as my father has wisely quoted, pain is the price of being human and I am definitely physically human yet more in touch with my spiritual side! Always good to see from whence you came on the journey!
From: Nocero, Margaret E Sent: Tuesday, August 28, 2012 1:28 PM Subject: Getting clear!
I found myself telling a student of mine that before she can search for anything in her life she needs to get clear about it. She needs to identify what she does not want and switch the thought process to what she does. This is the advice I take prior to the manifesting meditation tonight and this is what you advise us to do for the end of the mentoring program.
When I was 16, I had a lot of faith in the journey and the adventure- I did not have a lot of fear. I was really excited to go to a foreign place to meet and live with people that I did not know- I just knew that it would be wonderful. I never doubted it at all. With the knowledge that I was somewhat watched over, I took advantage of the opportunity that was in front of me.
The 42 year old Meg had shrunken a bit and fear overcame me for quite some time- I have come to the realization that I am the same soul and the one who is watching over me is God and now my mom and other angels as well. What do I have to fear. I am the one who is limiting my journey by pulling back from my true self. I realize what a shame it would be for me and for my family and others if I let this happen and continued on this path. But this won”t be my reality any more.
The other thing that I remembered was the unconditional love that I felt and the non judgmental atmosphere I was in. When I was 16 years old, it was the first time that I actually felt special and that lifted my self confidence. It was certainly a coming of age story for me, I fell in love in Colombia with my first romance and I think I fell in love with the possibilities that life held for me.
At 42, for some reason , I thought that I had to buy into something else, that is not me and not in lie with my calling because that is what society dictates. That does not have to be the case for me. I am looking for guides now to help me as I don’t want to continue on alone, but they will come and probably are already here whispering in my ears- or as obvious as messages clearly received. But they are there to help me continue on my path. This includes you and the miraculous way I met you and have gotten to know you.
I have been fearful for so long of illness, because maybe I am not living my purpose and don’t want to lose the opportunity to do so because I will just die or be incapacitates, but I have come to realize that I am the only one who is stopping me from growing and discovering myself. This is the lesson that tinnitus has shown me and that grief has shown me. I needed a lot of help because I was not strong when I lost my mom and saw what illness can do to a person and their body and I needed a lot of help to stand up again. Now, I feel like I do have control over my choices and the way that I think and the way I process my fears. So I can stand on my own- and the help I receive will be holding my hand rather than holding me up.
So as I was thinking about what I want to manifest in my life, I feel like I am not running away from something, but running towards something really wonderful in my life. I am a writer and need to write. I see it clearly – I see the screenplay that comes from my stories. I also see myself meeting people who will help me to effortlessly make a living doing what I love and that is sharing my life story to help awaken others. I am so lucky to have found people like you, Dr. Shaw, Simone and many others to help me on my path. It feels like cocreating rather than leaning on others to do the work that I can do best. It feels good to have many people mentor me and I get to mentor others- that is the cocreation at work and I love it. Where I am strong , I get to teach and where I am weak I get to learn. But it is a mutual connective process and it is exciting.
I am releasing extra weight on my body and adopting a healthy and reasonable lifestyle. I no longer am afraid of being a beautiful person inside and out. I am embracing what God has given me in my physical existence and my spiritual experience. The whole thing and honor that. I am releasing my fears and moving forward into my fabulousness. I hope to being many with me. I hope to know through refining my intuition who better to trust and who better to avoid – detach with love. I want to honor my truths and not act one way with one group of people and another with others-
I will do my best as I am not perfect. I pray that life gives me positive opportunities to see my purpose come to light. The biggest challenge after losing someone so important to you- I feel like a dark cloud is following me and that when I get excited about something, the darkness will overtake it because of what happened- I guess I have been on guard for something bad to happen even when I am experiencing something wonderful. I am ready to let this go and know in my heart that I need to embrace all the good that comes to me and not to minimize it by expecting the worst. That has not been my life experience up until when I lost my mom and that will not be my life experience as I move forward. I have always considered myself to be an incredibly lucky person and this does not change because my mom’s physical journey has ended. As Einstein said “ there are two ways of looking at life, as if nothing is a miracle or as if everything is a miracle.” As long as I am here breathing on this earth, I will choose to look as if everything is a miracle and they will continue to follow.
Hurdles- repetition of past habits- thinking the worst or falling into a rut again where the feeling of being stuck permeates me. Surrounding myself with people who are not uplifting dn who are negative. Being too negative myself, because I do not see the results of my hard work. Wondering why I am in the same job still- wondering why I am not doing full time the thing that I am meant to do here and getting paid for it.
Patience- I need more patience. I need to recognize that I have accomplished so much and have come so far and give myself the credit and recognition and see my own special value and worth and not be governed by others opinions.
I am seeking a lot of spiritual guidance- I have opened myself up to meditation and I am getting there more and more. I am open to so much more. I even had a house balancing the other day.
1. I am learning my personal boundaries- what I will and won’t tolerate. Negativity or defeatist behavior – that is a habit that I have had that I am in the process of changing more and more. So I try not to surround myself with people who are like that- I am more willing to speak my truth without fear of repercussions as well. Also I am being more and more accountable of the words that come out of my mouth and let my actions speak louder than words.
2. I need to change my personal habits one day at a time and be kind to myself so that I can be kind to others- it all starts with me and the God within and I know little by little I am getting somewhere if I always come back to that.
3. Honoring myself means to honor my purpose and take the time to take care of myself no matter what. Honor my body temple, honor my relationships with myself and others and really get to a place of love. It all needs to start from a place of love not fear of losing but love yourself to allow the abundance to come into your life. My mission statement: I am healthy, happy, loved and beautiful. By choosing to listen to my inner guidance, I am peace. By choosing acceptance, I am love. By choosing new habits and by releasing, I find freedom. I allow a life of love and abundance, made up of satisfying relationships to all that surrounds me. I am true to myself and listen to my calling. I am a great listener and communicator. Let my life serve as a gift of gratitude to God for all the blessings bestowed upon me. I am blessed.
What do I want to manifest?
A life of love, peace and abundance. I want to continue to live in paradise on earth, spiritually and physically. I want to live a life of awareness of the beauty in this world- with myself, people, animals, nature. I want to continue to heal my life so that I can help others heal theirs.
I really feel called to write- I have been inspired to write two books. I feel called to be in communion with other thinkers like me, who bring a wealth of knowledge and experience my way so that I can continue to grow and evolve. I feel called to be in loving relationships with my family and with my friends. I see myself meeting new people who look like me and are on a similar spiritual path like me. Open minded and non judgmental. Willing to learn from the universe all it has to teach. Not restrained to a dogma but open philosophy of love and kindness.
I will be a speaker, not sure if it will be on a national or international stage- or just in the confines of my home. I felt most alive speaking and sharing my story. I will have a screenplay produced. I see this. I see myself meeting many very interesting and very smart intuitive people on my way. I see very enlightened people in my life who will act as guides and mentors and I will be able to trust them because I follow my intuition well. In turn – as I continue to learn I see myself also helping others who may never have been exposed to this way of thinking. I find that I am embraced with love. I feel like this is the effortless path that I will follow and the joy is in the journey as I begin to discover it and become enthusiastic by all the people that I get to meet.
I will know when it is time to make changes. I will know because it will be effortless and I will not be afraid- it will be the next logical step and I get to have the honor and privilege of raising my beautiful children as I go to teach them all I know so that they can have a beautiful impact in this world.
I am no longer going to move forward on a journey of isolation as I have this past year. I am beginning to open up to walking it with others again. I am so excited about who will in fact join me or who I will choose to join.
While I know my life is not about gimmicks, I trust the smallest token of love I give out because I risk and am vulnerable will find an impact further than the eyes can see- I have never been one to believe that I have gotten to where I am now alone. It has been an achievement touched by many. It is now time for me to take flight and come to the edge and jump with the faith that all will be well. It is time for me and I am excited about it. I want my life to be a beautiful work where I get to manifest my passions and it does not feel like a toil but a blissful experience. So as I go and am being proactive , I trust my instinct to guide me.
God bless and sending you love and gratitude.
Meg
