Living in the moment and living a transcendent life.
What? Could this be the goal? Could this be the purpose here? I realize over and over again that I am tormented on a daily basis over striving for something greater than myself – then I realize why must I strive to be something greater than myself, when if I just am myself each and everyday, then wherever I am or wherever I go, I bring the best of me with me and that is more than enough! Just be, present, here, now. Liking who I am – bringing my own special touch to motherhood, as a spouse, as a sister, as a daughter or as a friend. That is it- that is where the transcendence lies. Being me- Why have I always sought to be someone other than myself to be like or be loved? is it because i am afraid that I will not be loved if I am myself! When I think about this anxiety sets in? Can I go out in the world without my masks hoping that I will be accepted as I am? God, then I think the mask is so exhausting, the role is so tiring, that if I don’t take it off today and see for myself then what kind of example am I setting for my own children, that they are not enough, when I know that when I look into their beautiful faces I see so much more. Push the envelope on coming out as me and see where that takes me- living in the moment and following my gut. At the same time, getting to know and accepting myself by peeling away all the layers of the onion. It will probably be the greatest adventure in the journey that is my life to step up and be me!! To finally say, here I am – take me or leave me with all my flaws and fabulousness. Then no regrets, no hiding anymore, feel the triggers that set me off and let them all go. Acknowledge the anxiety that comes from past patterns that no longer serve me and have to go. And dance, sing, draw, write as my heart and soul dictate! Yes, this is what I want to teach and inspire my children to do- risk then you have no regrets and know that when I love and embrace myself then all the rest is icing on the cake! Step up, step out and go with the tide not push against it!! People want to see a story of not just surviving, but thriving. I owe it to myself and I owe it to my mother. As she gave me life, she would want me to fully live it! So living in the moment with all its potential is the path to living a transcendent life! And I hope to inspire others along the way as I share my joys and pain. Hoping that the compassion that resides within will be shared by others too confident that I am enough!! Have a great week my friends!!!