What a crazy summer this has been! Even though I am 53 years young, moving through life feels heavy in this unbearable heatwave. There are those profound moments when my soul feels flat, and I am understandably tired. And, of course, even the notion of starting a new chapter, as I am admittedly recovering from the last, makes me dread getting out of bed. So, here I offer three tips to help you process the transition to uplevel your energy, get up and make your bed looking towards the day and create the best new chapter it can be.
Celebrate Your Accomplishments: Every year, on my birthday, I celebrate another year of life lived (perhaps not consistently well, but ever since my mother passed away in 2011 at 67, just living has a more profound meaning.) And, yes, I go over it in my mind and put it on paper for accountability, all that I have accomplished over the past year, month, or even day. Newsflash! You do not have to wait for a birthday or event at the end of the year to do this. Anytime you are feeling less than or overwhelmed, unappreciated, unmotivated, or even experiencing the beginnings of a full-on pity party coming your way (certainly after you enjoy it to the hilt--hopefully not with too much indulging in adding more issues to your plate), get up, make your bed, and start by writing down one thing you have begun or completed that you are proud of.
I know so many women who do such amazing things every moment of the day and never give themselves the credit they deserve. Well, you be the first to give yourself credit and validation for believing in yourself, doing the hard work, and making things happen. It will change your perspective on how you see your life and how you move forward, even if you are still reeling from the fallout of what it took to get where you are today. Celebrate the new relationships you have made, the books you have written, the places you have seen, the people you have helped, and even the hard lessons learned. I want you to celebrate all of it and give yourself a golden star, a day off from the self-sabotage, and maybe even plan a trip or go to the spa-whatever makes you feel good about your journey. Because how you feel about your life is the most important thing, coupled with your thoughts about yourself as you manifest more amazing. No one said you have to keep beating yourself up because you allowed others to take advantage of you or your work, made mistakes, did not meet your financial goals, did not get the results you were looking for, or maybe let old habits resurface. (ok, these are my issues) This is not penance, but you can forgive yourself and celebrate that you and I are here doing our best, making the best choices we can- it is time to celebrate, believe in, and love yourself for taking those leaps of faith and enjoy being alive, curious as to what your life journey has to offer. And if you need it, I give you permission to place a golden star next to your magical list of accomplishments because so many don't take risks to see their dreams come true. Bravo to you!
Be Impeccable With Your Words and Stop Comparing Your Life to Others: this tip is the most important when shifting focus to where you place your professional or personal ladder next. How I speak to myself at the beginning of any new chapter sets the tone for what follows. I find that this is also the most challenging advice to incorporate into my life. I was raised in a family where things were expected of me. As a creative kid, I loved living in a world of imagination. I love my Barbie Dolls. (yes, I saw the movie and had a major crappy flashback- I realized that in the 70s, the only Barbie Doll I had was blond and represented an ideal of beauty I would never be. Even so, as a dark-haired, chubby kid with glasses, I did steal away from my reality to fantasize as I played with my Barbie dolls, hoping to be anyone other than me- it clearly was not the empowering example I would want for my daughter today, and I want to hug the younger part of me still holding onto acceptance via that standard of ridiculousness- yet I digress) Yet, somehow I knew I would never meet those expectations. I always compared myself to my sisters, who always seemed to do better than I did. Or compared myself to others in my circle, wanting to fit in more than anything. It was not until I let go of the comparison that I could make room for what I loved to do - that is when I truly started to become more authentically me. You came here to walk your journey and share your talents, and you will align with what you attract, hopefully from a high vibration. So march to the beat of your own drum, take what you like, and move on.
Accepting where you are today and using positive affirmations as you speak about yourself is how I know your confidence will grow. Sure, there will be relapses. As I said above, pity parties have their purpose, but there is too much good out there waiting for each one; telling yourself you are magical, beautiful, and special makes life that much more fun. So in the introduction of my book Sparkle & Shine, I offer an affirmation that when I remember, I use it all the time. "I am happy, healthy, loved, beautiful (handsome), smart, strong, and fit. I am rich and successful in all that I do. I am grateful for my blessings and know that with each little step forward, my dreams will come true. Thank you, universe. Something wonderful is about to happen." Try using this or one of your own at the beginning of your day. With consistent impeccable words, you will want to treat yourself that way.
Gather Your Friends to Release & Move Forward: I reiterate, perhaps you may think that you need an excuse to gather or even celebrate, but I am here to tell you that Hallmark has fabricated so many make-believe holidays, or as an author/speaker, there are so many "trendy" days used to market so many things, why not make up one of your own and go for it! So first step, set a date and create a ritual/ceremony that is both symbolic and meaningful. It can be any uplifting gathering you'd like. Tea ceremonies, book clubs, author groups, etc. Since 2012, under the full moon in August, I have brought together a small group of friends and hosted a soul talk. I love this under a full moon because it makes you feel like you are not alone in the universe. A big moon is up there, coupled with its good energy and that magical notion that this experience will bring incredible synergy.
The second step, send an invitation to those friends who align with your soul, make you feel good, and support your dreams in the good times and the bad. You don't want toxic people to join you in this circle. Be very specific with who you choose, and take a "no drama" approach in this sacred space you create. Only the generous ones with their love and support- who balance the give-and-receive elements in life should join you.
Step three, create a mini agenda and share it with those who accept the invite so that they can prepare themselves and get the most out of the experience. I often ask my guests to get intentional about how they envision the next chapter, leaving room for the magic moments to unfold. I also ask for discernment as to the things that no longer serve so that there is a release, burning those things and letting them go. And, if we are by the ocean, we will write our intentions in the sand, letting the sea carry them away. Or light a candle at the beginning to hold the promise of light and burn away all that holds you back. Just come up with any ritual you would like; it is an opportunity to feel loved and supported and even celebrated to continue to fight the good fight.
In Conclusion: Use these three tips to help you stand strong on the foundation that you have already created. Celebrating your accomplishments, being impeccable with your words, stopping comparing yourself to others, and gathering your friends to release and move forward are three tips that have worked for me in the past. I look forward to August 30th, the night of the next full moon, to gather again in person (I am a bit tired of all the Zooms). Take what you like as you move along; you won't be wrong whatever you do. I hope you never give up along the way, and probably the most important thing to leave you with, remember to include play in your new chapter.
Thank you for reading this blog. I would love to hear from each of you about how I can support you on your journey.
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Whatever you decide to do, "Butterflies, it is time to dazzle! I believe in you!
Meg Nocero understands the power of awareness and intention as a manifester navigating the world as a lifelong student. In addition to a career as an attorney (former federal immigration prosecutor), she has transitioned her career to an award-winning author, a certified empowerment coach and happiness trainer, an adjunct professor, and an inspirational speaker. In May 2021, she presented a TEDx inspirational talk called "Wake Up!" And in September 2021, she completed her inspirational "Butterflies & Bliss Trilogy." Beginning with The Magical Guide to Bliss: Daily Keys to Unlock Your Dreams, Spirit & Inner Bliss, followed by Sparkle & Shine: 108 M.A.N.T.R.A.s to Brighten Your Day and Lighten Your Way, and finished with Butterfly Awakens: A Memoir of Transformation Through Grief. It all began after being brought on stage in Miami with Oprah Winfrey in 2014 when she decided to create a life more closely aligned with her dream and inspire others to follow their bliss. Founder of "The Meg Nocero Network," she runs her company Butterflies & Bliss, L.L.C., a non-profit called S.H.I.N.E. Networking Inc. that provides educational scholarships to young innovative leaders. She is also a Love Button Global Movement Ambassador. In 2021, S.H.I.N.E. received an Inaugural Anthem Award in the Education, Arts & Culture – Networking and Community Organization category. Nocero appeared on CNN Español, BookCon live, podcasts, and online media such as M.S.N.B.C., C.B.S., Boston Herald, and Chicago Tribune. She hosts a YouTube/Podcast channel where she broadcasts Manifesting with Meg: Conversations with Extraordinary People and Amazing Authors. Nocero is a proud Italian-American whose love of language had her master English, Spanish, Italian and conversational French. She lives in Miami, Fl. with her husband, shelties, and two children.